I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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