he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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