The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
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