my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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