there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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