went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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