OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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