I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My life is pants optional.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize