I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i would punch a child for taco bell
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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