my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at about main and main street
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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