I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize