This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize