I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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