last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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