She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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