I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
tell me about the eggs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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