Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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