I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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