Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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