Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize