The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize