your thong is hanging out like whoa
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize