During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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