we made out on top of his cat.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize