are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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