when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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