so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my sisters under your porch take her home
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
