They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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