I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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