honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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