I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize