I smell stomach acid.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize