I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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