But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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