i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize