i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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