I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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