I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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