The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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