I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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