how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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