it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize