I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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