Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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