I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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