If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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