we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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