Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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