Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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