THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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